Updated January 8, 2009

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January 5, 2009 - My wee one turns 16 years old today.  He has walked sideways all weekend to avoid birthday spankings.  (I had to sneak up on the boy to get in a good smack.  He's just too large and strong to take by force anymore...)  I hope he remembers how to walk normal for the return to school this morning after Christmas break because walking sideways down the hall at school, although acceptable, is not practical.  We celebrated his Birthday yesterday, and I made mini-posters to hang in the living room.  (My youngest does several laugh out loud impressions of Rambo and Carol Channing and an older Asian lady...my favorite being Carol Channing.  So the birthday posters that I made up and hung were all pictures of his vocal characters with his face super imposed over them.  Seriously - don't you think he DOES look like Carol Channing?  I asked if he wanted me to send him the picture for his Facebook and he said, "Mom, I doubt if any of my friends know who Carol Channing is!!  The humor would be lost on them...")  

I began this New Year with Don McLean's song "American Pie" stuck in my head and it's been 'playing' in my brain ever since.  I am amazed at how a human remember lyrics like that.  I do remember all those lyrics!  It shocks me that I can remember them when I get forget so many other things.  (I am convinced that if you put anything to catchy music that we'd all remember EVERYTHING we were ever taught.)  Yesterday on the way home from the store I finally heard that song on the radio.  (All these years I just assumed it was the type of song you'd play as a D.J. on a radio station when you had to go to the bathroom, since it ran so long...)  After hearing it on the radio and singing my heart out, the song has finally left my head. 

My daughter and her boyfriend spent New Year's Eve with us.  We watched 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' movies until 11:30 p.m. then watched the ball drop in Times Square, exchanged hugs and kisses, and then my husband and I went to bed and left the kids up playing Monopoly.  I could hear bursts of their conversations while drifting off to sleep, most of it quite humorous, and fell asleep chuckling to myself.  My husband said he got up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and they were still out here playing so he suggested they break it up and head to bed and/or go home.  (After all, there are only so many times you can not go past go and not collect 200 dollars on the way to jail...)

January 8, 2009 - My friend Kathy and I started our New Year with a renewed commitment to treating ourselves better... in a healthy kind of way.  We originally decided to get back to losing weight until it dawned on us that losing weight isn't all of the big picture - sure, we'd like to look all sexy and stuff and be our own local town's Mae West type but what good is that if you feel like dog doo?  It doesn't matter if you look like Twiggy or Jabba the Hut - as long as you are a healthy Jabba - now that is something.  (Of course, being 'healthy' means eating better and eating better will lead to fluffy fat weight loss, so it's a perk nonetheless!)

Kathy and I decided to start our 'new beginning' on January 5th as one cannot realistically say 'JANUARY 1st!" when you know perfectly well you are all going to a party or a Chinese place that has food that needs consuming.  Knowing we were going to start this new adventure, I went completely crazy nuts in food consumption over the two week holiday period.  Even though I didn't bake a lot or cook an over abundance of big meals during the Christmas and New Year weeks, I did eat every thing I could see in the greater tri-state area that wasn't already in someone else's belly.  I would wake up with food hangovers often - as real as any drinking binge would have created.

Monday was the 'beginning' and I have to confess it was like a mini-version of what I think a junkie must go through in rehab...   I had actual withdrawals.  My poor body!  After stuffing all of that junk into myself for two weeks, Monday was the worst day EVER.  I ate as a good girl human should with veggies and fruit and proper meals and plenty of water, etc.   but by the time I got home from work, I was shaking and dizzy.  (Of course, we had a stressful day at work due to a wave of lay-offs and such, but come on...)

Tuesday was a bit better, my body was over the shock of the loss of inbound mass amounts of bread and sugar products.  However, by Wednesday I had GAINED TWO POUNDS.  This seems odd when I've been ever so good.   I reason that I am full of 'crap' literally and should schedule a high colonic or a visit from Roto Rooter, or perhaps I have just been very very bad to my physical self and my body is confused and dazed at this point.  At this point I have not called Roto Rooter and am taking a wait and see approach.  (Mind you, coffee tends to 'move' me just fine, but a two pound gain has to result from residual bowel build up, wouldn't you think?) 

Last night I tried to help my son with Chemistry homework.  Ugh.  (First of all, let me note that he's come a long way since the "F" grade he had after a couple of weeks of school.  After that little experience of losing his laptop for a week, etc - he has carried a high B every since.  The mere fact he asks for help now warms my heart but rips the last three remaining brains cells from my head...)  Ugh.  Molarity?  What the heck is molairty?  I barely lived through Mols in general with my son, now you have to figure the pH and pOH of stuff too?  I had an urge to call my friend Diane's husband, Jeff, as he's a Chemist and would know - but he's in Indiana and it was late.  I also have other friends in other states who are Chemist types, but then it occurred to me WHY these people live in other states - to avoid phone calls from people like me for chemistry homework help.  When my daughter called to tell me about her day during the homework session with my son, I was quite rude and passed her off to her brother to see if she could help him.  (She had this class in High School only a few years ago and aced it - I was hoping she had retained some of the information in her head.)  Alas, the attempt was futile.  She did help him a little more than I did, but he was still baffled.  He finally commiserated with fellow Chem students and found they were as confused as he was and it was collectively decided they will go in today as a united front and demand knowledge. 

And in closing, for those of you who don't know how to figure out the pH of something, as I still don't nor will I ever understand it apparently, here are the steps:  (I include this explanation in case you are ever held at gun point and the only way the gunman will let you live is to calculate the pH of something...)

pH is measured on a logarithmic scale. It is used to tell how concentrated a solution is based on hydrogen ions.  Definition: pH = -log[H+] This says that pH equals the negative log of the concentration of an acid (H+).  For example: Say we have a solution of 0.02M hydrochloric acid and we want to know the pH. pH = -log[H+] = -log[0.02] = 1.7.  This is very acidic because it is close to zero. The pH scale looks similar to this: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 [0 - 6 is acidic 7 is neutral 8 - 14 is basic or alkaline.]  If you're given the pH and not the concentration then: If your pH = 2.3 then, 2.3 = -log[H+] [H+] = 10^-pH = 10^-2.3 = [5.0 x 10^-3M]If your given the pH and not the concentration then: If your pH = 2.3 then, 2.3 = -log[H+] [H+] = 10^-pH = 10^-2.3 = [5.0 x 10^-3M]

Clear as mud, right?  Ugh.   After homework sessions like that I feel as if the only thing I'm capable of is running around the living room beating on my chest and flailing my arms while making ape noises as I use a stick to eat termites.